Can't be tamed?

I'm beginning to believe that I'm too complex, and have too many sides to just be tied to one man. Tonight my friend Dan texted me because he was outside my house, and I haven't seen him all year since he's been in Ireland. Dan and I grew up together, and we never liked each other, and we had so much confidence in our friendship, that we slept together in a twin bed at after prom, and ended up hooking up (while he had a girlfriend). That kind of hurt our relationship, but enough time has passed (and they broke up), that now we just would never even want to mention that night.

But tonight when we were talking, I realized I have a major crush on him. Just like Lou, the kid I lost my virginity to, "Andrew sex panther", and Brian (ha). Some of them are more significant than others, but they all satisfy one part of me whether it's the literary, cutesy, sexual, emotional, literary, psychological, musical, retro, etc. How am I supposed to settle down with one person later in life? Sure I can hope that I meet that "soulmate", the one who is just as twisted and complex as me, who manages to satisfy all of me, but I have a hard time believing that such a person exists. Maybe this is why people cheat, get divorced, whore around into their 60's; even my friend said it tonight: "I can't picture you in a relationship".

I don't ever need anyone to validate me, but it's just nice to dream that one day I'll go to bed in the arms of someone who loves me with their whole heart; they'll want to protect me, make me laugh, turn me on, and stay until the very last breath I take, despite my many imperfections.