I don't feel like being pretty.
I don't feel pretty.
I don't feel like being poetic,
I just want this to come out of me.
I want to cut,
I hate myself for having these urges,
but I'm still debating whether I would
hate myself more for doing it, or for not.
I do hate the scars I still have;
I'm ashamed;
they're ugly, and I hate having to make up stories about
why they are there.
But, I close my eyes and I envision me making more;
I can almost hear my skin sizzling under the razor's teeth-
the hot water going in for the kill-
it burns so bad.
It kills so good.
I'll cry and scream,
and know that I've hurt myself...
which in that moment puts a smile on my face.
wow. more people need to read this kind of thing. you're going to be such a good counselor :)
ReplyDeleteWow that's a huge compliment, thank you... I sure hope so. Hah oh my god... if more people read this kind of thing I would hide my face in embarrassment, because would think that I'm some twisted sick girl =P
ReplyDelete